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Grounded in a specific reality

As many of you have probably noticed by now, I’m making heavy use of current events, trends and technologies in the narrative of Unification Chronicles. Specifically, Susan is a blogger, Jeff used Twitter and everyone is on the net with GPS-enabled smartphones. But wait, some of you might be asking, isn’t that going to date the work? What happens in a couple centuries when people are picking the timeless classics of the twenty-first century?

The answer, of course, is I’ll be dead, so what do I care?

Okay, let’s discuss this. I tried, when writing the original Between Heaven and Hell novellas, to avoid things that would freeze the story in a specific place and time. But because my knowledge of the future was imperfect—isn’t it always?—a number of things slipped in anyway that ring out today as hopelessly anachronistic. When confronted with a car wreck in the very first scene, Daniel doesn’t call 911 on his mobile phone, because in 1996 he didn’t have one. Susan copies the database of demons onto a CD-ROM. No one filmed these amazing things and put them on YouTube. Even though I tried to avoid such things, they’re glaring in their absence when compared to our daily lives today.

So my advice is don’t try to make your book "timeless." You’ll fail. A lot. You can’t predict the future, and instead of making your work timeless, you’ll make it bland. Go ahead and use real brand names and trademarks like Twitter, Nike, Pepsi, CNN. Done well, they’ll lend your work an authenticity, a solidity, it might not otherwise have. It’s one thing to say your character had a hamburger, it’s subtly different to say he had a Big Mac.

But like any narrative tool, don’t overuse it. All those proper nouns can be distracting if you whack the reader over the head with them. And you really want to be careful that you don’t give the appearance that the brand names are paid product placement, unless, of course, you got paid a boatload of money to do it.

What about using real people, not just things? Celebrities are fair game, right?

Sort of.

When writing the first book in the UC series, I assumed I’d cement it in 2010 as solidly as I could, so when it came time to mention people in high government office, I used real politicians. The President was Barack Obama, etc. But as I’m getting into Crusade, I’m realizing I have to take a step back on that. Why? Because I have to kill people.

Specifically, one of the events on the world’s spiral into chaos is a Presidential assassination. Two of them, in fact. First the President gets whacked because some nutjob is trying to prove he’s a demon, and then the Vice-turned-Acting President is killed by a demon during a riot that pretty much burns Washington DC to the ground. I can’t really use Barak Obama and Joe Biden for these roles. At least not if I want to avoid the Secret Service disappearing me off to Gitmo. Using celebrities in your work is one thing, something that could be construed as a threat to a sitting President is another.

So now the President in Crusade is Ricardo Alejandro Cruz. He was a two-term Congressman from Miami before running for President in 2008 and being elected the country’s first Latino President. He was born in Miami to Cuban immigrant parents, and spent a good chunk of his childhood in Cuba. Right wing conspiracy nuts have insisted for years that his birth certificate is a fake, and that he was really born in Cuba, and that he’s been installed here, Manchurian Candidate-style, to communize the United States. In Crusade, one of these nuts goes even further and decides he’s not human at all, he’s a demon, and to prove it, the nut’s going to put a 30-06 round right between his eyes and watch him get back up on live TV…

Which of course, Cruz won’t.

On the one hand, using fictional politicians gives me the ability to do whatever I want with them just like any of my other characters. But I have to admit I do kind of miss the verisimilitude using real elected officials gave Revelation. It was one thing to say that the heat was coming down on the FBI from the Director of Homeland Security, another to day it was coming down from Director Napolitano. But to do what I really want to do in this story, some things have to stay fiction.

But not everything. No way Susan’s giving up Twitter.

Categories: Craft Tags:

A new star in the sky

I got  a whopping 352 words yesterday, all of it at Chipotle before going over to my sister’s to watch the Broncos lose in the final minute of a game for the second week in a row. But hey, at least it’s something, and I think I’m ready to pull out of this malaise and get back to work. My mom is feeling better, there’s every chance that she’s cancer-free, and if even if she’s not, what she has is easily treatable. The holidays are behind me—I get to work New Years Eve and New Years Day, so nothing to look forward to there, and frankly I’ll be happy just to leave the 2000s decade in the dustbin of history, thank you very much—and my mind is turning back to Unification Chronicles with something that almost feels like eagerness.

One cool idea I’ve been bouncing around for a while is the idea that the supernova triggered by the Guardians to end the Eternal War is actually seen from Earth. This involved doing some math to make sure the dates all worked out. I’d already decided that I wanted Daniel Cho’s final victory over the Archangel Michael to happen on 21 December 2012, really soak that “dawning of a new age” thing for all it’s worth. So what would I need to have that event heralded by a new star in the sky, so bright that’s visible during the day and outshines the moon?

I know that Book 4, Mistaken Identity, takes place about 100 years after Book 3, Jihad. In that book, we meet the Sendeni, the most powerful race to survive the Eternal War. They tell us that the Guardians ended the war a thousand years ago by inducing a star to go supernova with the Nemesis nearby, destroying nearly all of the Nemesis before chasing what was left out of the galaxy. Neither race ever returned. If I want that explosion to be Daniel’s Star, where does it have to be?

According to the Sendeni, the explosion would have occurred in the Earth year 1112 CE. If the star was only 500 light years away, I could make it the supernova documented by Johannes Kepler in 1604. But in order for it to be Daniel’s Star, visible to us in 2012, it has to be 900 light years away. This is feasible, considering the Eternal War ranged all over the galaxy and it’s far enough from us that the detonation wouldn’t affect Sol otherwise (if Alpha Centauri, only 4 light years away, went supernova, it would completely destroy our ozone layer and kill all surface life on Earth).

Who knew writing fiction involved math?

Categories: Journal Tags: ,

Momentum

3765 words!

3765 words!

Day three of Crusade was a success. I got 2005 words, the first time I’ve crested 2k on this book. (Day 1 was 737 words, day 2 was 1023.) It’s been much, much harder building up speed on this than it was on Revelation. The first day of Revelation was 3200 words, just a bit under my total word count on Crusade.

Part of this, I think, is fatigue. I finished writing a novel and plunged right into a new one. Not only did I not take a day off, I didn’t even sleep on it. I started Crusade the same day that I finished Revelation. No wonder I’m tired. Frankly, this is Josh Curry’s fault. I had to jump into Crusade right away, lest I give him an even bigger head start on our word war.

But also I think it’s that Crusade is a fuzzier story to me. I knew where Revelation was going, or at least I thought I did. I turned out to be wrong, and the characters came up with wonderfully unexpected ways to get to the endgame of book 1, ways completely different than what I had in mind. But having something in mind gave me the confidence to barge into the writing, sure of where I was going (even if I was wrong).

With Crusade, as the result of the unexpected twists in Revelation, I find myself in largely uncharted territory. I have an outline, of sorts, and know where the first act has to end up, but how to get there is a complete mystery to me. To some writers, this “thrill of the blank page” is a wonder. To me, it’s terrifying. As I write, I’m finding out where my “sweet spot” is between plotting and pantsing. Too much rigid plotting (what I ended up with on Ghost Ronin) and I’m too bored by the story to write, but too much pantsing and I’m paralyzed by indecision, unsure of where I’m going. I need just enough outline to give me a map, but not enough to tell the story for me. I think this is what I have with Crusade, but it’s still probably a little too far to the pantsing side for comfort.

The solution, obviously, is to do a little bit more outlining, working backwards from the act 1 break. I might do that tonight. But for the most part, I’m going to enjoy hitting my word count and watch me some of the TV machine. Maybe even eat something tasty. And tomorrow, we’ll see if I can match what I did today.

UC201: New Beginning

1: New Beginning

[Dante Hicks is now Patrick Russell.]Daniel Cho stood in the frigid bay wind and stared at the graves of his parents and his sisters. It was September, three months after their deaths at the hands of the demons. Their estate handling had been done remotely because he’d spent the last three months preparing to avenge them. Today was the first day he’d actually been free to visit their graves.

He hardly recognized the man he’d been when they died. In the last three months, Jack and Sandy had run him and Patrick through a brutal “boot camp” to prepare non-combatant civilians for the battle ahead. They’d been whipped into the best physical shape of their lives, taught how to survive in wildernesses from the Appalachian mountains to SouthEast Washington DC.  They’d been taught how kill with guns, knives and their bare hands. Daniel was the equal now of the best US Army Rangers, and had also refreshed his skills as a trauma surgeon. Those were skills his team was likely to need, considering what they’d be fighting.

Demons. Not the horned and pitchfork variety, but real, flesh and blood people who, as the result of nanotechnology no one had figured out yet, healed almost instantly, never got sick, never aged. They’d been living among humans for centuries–millennia–and interfering in the development of society, corrupting and poisoning things for their own ends. Wherever there was blood, strife, humans killing each others, there were demons behind the scenes.

Daniel had stumbled upon their existence and they’d tried to kill him for it. When that didn’t work, they’d killed his family. But in the end, Daniel and his friends had been able to get the truth out. The demons weren’t a secret anymore.

But neither were they acknowledged fact. The demons had caught the collective imagination of the public, but the United States government, along with most of the United Nations, still declared them a hoax. Daniel knew that this was because the demons had influence deep within the governments of the world. Even Jack’s former boss at the FBI had been working for them. Officially, an ancient conspiracy of immortals meddling with human history was every bit the wacko conspiracy theory it sounded like.

Only it was real. Jeff had died to bring the story to light, one of many wacko conspiracy theories he had favored. Only this one was real. The demons existed, whether they were acknowledged officially or not.

And they would be hunted. Jack’s team but just one of many the angels had started up in the last few months. The angels still hadn’t, for the most part, shown themselves. Only Uriel had been seen in public. But they’d thrown their considerable resources behind the human effort to seek out and destroy the demons, once and for all.

Daniel knew the mission was important. He believed, as Jack did, that humanity needed to be free. But really, he just wanted to destroy the creatures that had taken his family away from him. He wanted justice. If he couldn’t get it from his government, he’d take it himself.

“Are you ready?” Jack said behind him.

Jack turned and saw his new boss, both of them wearing jeans and leather jackets against the fall chill. They didn’t look much like soldiers. But Jack had fought in Iraq, alongside Sandy, before he joined the FBI. And while Patrick hadn’t been tested under fire yet, Daniel had fought the demon Batarel five times before finally killing the bastard, the last time just hand to hand, flipping the demon off a catwalk in a steel plant into a vat of molten metal. So far, he was the only human to kill an immortal in all of recorded history. That had to count for something.

Daniel didn’t look back at his family’s graves. “Yeah, boss. I’m ready.”

“Let’s saddle up, then.” Jack turned and led Daniel to the UH-60 Blackhawk they used to move around. They hadn’t come to San Francisco just so Daniel could say goodbye to his family. They were hunting. After Susan released the database given to her by Uriel with all the names and aliases of every demon, including their current identities, most of them had gone to ground, assumed emergency backup identities. It had taken a lot of legwork and Patrick’s computer skills, but they found one, living in the bay area. It was time to take him down.

*

Jack sat in the cockpit of the Blackhawk, going over the mission details one more time. Sandy was piloting, and Daniel was in the back with Patrick, trying to get Patrick’s little surprise ready. While he and Sandy had been teaching the young analyst to fight, they’d also been picking his brain about how to kill demons more effectively. They couldn’t very well carry around a vat of molten steel everywhere they went, so they needed another way to kill something that could heal almost any injury in seconds. Patrick had come up with a lot of ideas, including the one they were going to field test today. Just as soon as they found the demon.

According to their sources, the demon, true name of Oznael, was holed up in warehouse down in Hunter’s Point. Seemed as good a place as any to test out their tactics.

Sandy signaled him. They were almost at the LZ. Out the port side he saw the blue of San Francisco Bay, gray industrial buildings below and to starboard. They were coming in fast.

Jack turned and signaled to Daniel and Patrick. They moved to turn off all their electronics. Jack started shutting down everything he could in the cockpit without interfering with Sandy keeping the bird in the air. They’d have to be quick.

Sandy pointed at a building, started a countdown with his hand. Five, four, three…

The instant the Blackhawk hit the roof, Jack and Sandy scrambled to shut down the remaining electronics. They had three seconds. Two, one…

Dante hit the EMP and Jack heard a loud pop from the back of the Blackhawk. All the control screens were black. He glanced at Sandy. “Did we make it?”

“Won’t know until we try to start it again.”

Jack shrugged. They had other concerns at the moment. “Let’s move, everybody!”

The men jumped out of the Blackhawk, rotors still swinging above their heads from sheer momentum. They ran for the roof access door, Jack spraying the doorknob with bullets from his MP5. He kicked the door down and they rode it like a surfboard down the first flight of steps before jumping off in the landing and continuing down. The staircase opened out into a catwalk above a warehouse floor. The lights were off, a side effect of the eletromagnetic pulse they’d set off. If they were lucky, the nanites in the demon’s blood would be disabled as well.

They fanned out across the catwalks along the north and west sides of the building. Each man was dressed in black coveralls, combat boots and bulletproof vests. They wore kevlar helmets and could have passed for SWAT officers but for the lack of the word POLICE in bright white letters on their vests. Each carried an MP-5 submachine gun, plenty of ammo, grenades, and a light backpack containing the tools of their specialty. Sandy carried handheld napalm bombs and other ordinance. Daniel had their medical kit, Patrick a computer that could connect to just about anything anytime someone hadn’t just set off an EMP. Jack’s backpack held surveillance gear, and he reached into that pack to pull out a lightweight set of night vision goggles. He put them on.

The warehouse flared into a monochrome gray, brighter and better detailed than what he’d been able to make out by eye. He was the spotter in this scenario, directing the other men towards the target. If they could find the target. The warehouse was full of eighty foot shipping containers, some stacked five high. A single demon could hide in here for a long time without being spotted, especially if he could get into one or more of the containers.

Jack saw something dart off to the side on the warehouse floor. He whistled to the men, and pointed. “Southeast corner!” he said.

Carefully, they all started down the metal stairways towards the floor. Patrick had formed up with Jack, Daniel was covering Sandy. With any luck, they’d catch the bastard in a crossfire.

Jack turned and glanced at Patrick. “You sure this is going to work?”

The former FBI analyst shrugged. “In theory, it should work,” Patrick said. “The nanites are too small to have any appreciable EM shielding. The EMP should have turned Oznael into just another human being, at least for a while. If we shoot him, he should stay dead.”

“That’s an awful lot of “shoulds”, Patrick.”

“I know, sir.”

They crept down the floor. As soon as Jack stepped down to the concrete, he heard the distinctive chatter of an AK-47. He grabbed Patrick by the scruff of the neck and threw them both to the floor. Bullets ricocheted off the metal staircase behind them.

“I think he’s on to us, sir,” Patrick said.

“Figured that out, did you?” Jack said as heard answering MP-5 fire coming from the left. Good, Sandy was already trying to pin him down.

He slapped Patrick on the shoulder. “Come on, Patrick. We have a job to do.”

Patrick covered Jack as Jack carefully sidestepped around the shipping container where he thought the AK shots had come from. Sandy and Daniel were no longer firing, so they must have lost Oznael too, assuming they ever saw him and weren’t just shooting at the sound to drive him back.

“Oznael!” Jack shouted, echoing in the vast warehouse. “We know who and what you are. There’s no way out of here except through us!”

“Sir is that wise?” Patrick whispered. “Taunting him?”

“If he hides,” Jack whispered, “and we have to search crate by crate, it’s much more dangerous and we have a higher risk of losing him. He thinks he’s invulnerable still, and is only avoiding us because it’s easier to pick us off one by one. If we can make him angry enough to charge us…”

“He’ll run right into the bullets, thinking they won’t harm him.”

“That’s the plan,” Jack said. “Now we just need to flush him out.”

Jack turned on the comlink hooked over his right ear. “Sandy, report,” he said as quietly as he could.

“Nothing here, boss,” Sandy said. We converged on where it sounded like the AK fire came from, but there’s no sign of him.”

“Roger that,” Jack said. He waved for Patrick to follow and moved down the aisle between the massive containers. Bastard had to be here somewhere.

“Oznael!” he said. “You’re not getting out of this.”

Jack heard the demon speak behind them, a rough Aussie accent. “I beg to differ.”

Oznael opened fire, and Jack felt a couple of the rounds hit the plate on the back of his vest. Patrick cried out and went down immediately.

“Shit,” Jack said and returned fire. He hit the demon square in the chest with at least five rounds. The demon fell down under the hail of gunfire.

“Medic!” Jack screamed. “Daniel, get over here!” Jack saw a pool of blood spreading under Patrick, and it was getting way too big.

As he heard Sandy and Daniel doubletime over to him, he saw the demon getting back up.

*

Daniel saw Patrick slumped against the side of a container as Jack leaped over him and opened fire on the demon again. “Sandy, I need some help here!” Jack said.

As Sandy and Jack drove the demon back, Daniel whipped off his pack and tended to Patrick. “Stay with me, buddy,” he said. “We’re gonna get through this.”

“F–First time out,” Patrick said. “And I get tagged.”

“Could have happened to any of us,” Daniel said. He saw that most of the bleeding was coming from Patrick’s left leg. Daniel took a knife and sliced open the leg of Patrick’s pants. The bullet had gone deep into his thigh, and the blood coming out was bright red, arterial. Probably nicked the femoral, Daniel thought.

“Okay, Patrick, this is going to sting a bit,” Daniel said. He grabbed a clamp out of his pack, and a retractor. “Got to do a little spelunking.”

“In my leg?”

“Just lie back and think of England,” Daniel said. “Don’t pass out if you can help it.”

“I’m getting dizzy, Daniel.”

Daniel reached in with the retractor and pulled the wound open. Patrick screamed and thrashed.

“Patrick! Keep still!”

“Fuck!” Patrick said through clenched teeth.

There was blood everywhere, pumping hot over Daniel’s hands. But he could see where it coming from. He reached in with the clamp, and closed it over the artery.

“Shit!” Patrick said. “Fucking Christ, that hurts!”

Daniel broke an ice pack and put it over the wound. “Hold that there as long as you can. I’ve stopped the life threatening bleeding, but we need to get you to an OR as soon as possible.” He wrapped some bandages over the ice pack. “I’ll be right back.”

Daniel grabbed his weapon, jumped up and ran towards the gunfire.

*

Jack emptied his clip, ejected it, and slammed another one home. Oznael was off balance from the continued gunfire, but he was healing visibly. They had him backed up and pinned down, but Jack didn’t see how they were going to keep this going. As soon as they ran out of ammo, the demon would counterattack and it would be over. They needed a lot more practice before trying to take one of these things down.

Jack heard another SMG open up behind him, and saw Daniel adding his firepower. He was firing in three-round bursts, focusing on the demon’s knees.

“Good thinking!” Jack shouted. “Sandy, we need some heat!”

Sandy pulled back and reached behind him. He pulled out what was essentially a small flare attached to a plastic container of jellied gasoline. It was a slightly more sophisticated version of a Molotov Cocktail, in that it used napalm instead of gas or kerosene, but it would do the job. Sandy lit it and tossed it just above the demon. The flare ignited the napalm, which melted the plastic and rained down on the demon, In an instant, the demon was covered in fire. Oznael turned and ran, faster than Jack thought possible, for one of the warehouse exits.

“Won’t kill him,” Sandy said, “but it will take him out of commission long enough for us to evac.”

“Let’s do it, then,” Jack said. Daniel already had a collapsible stretcher unpacked and unfolded. They set about moving Patrick to the stretcher as gently as possible, and then carried him to the nearest staircase.

The first battle in the war against the demons hadn’t exactly been a rousing success.

Crusade progress report

You’d think now that I’m starting a new book writing would be fun again. You’d be horribly mistaken, and quite possibly barking mad. I’ve got 793 words today, 1530 for the book overall, and it’s just torture. Maybe not waterboarding-caliber torture, but at least as bad as being forced to listen to Yanni records.

I’ve got a handle on my first two chapters, and I know my characters pretty well (btw, Dante Hicks from Revelation has been renamed to Patrick Russell, as the name Dante was too similar to Daniel if the character is going to be sticking around a while). Maybe that’s the problem. A big chunk of this first chapter is picking up a few months after the events in Revelation and going forward. But I still have to do that awkward second-book-in-a-series thing where I reintroduce the characters to people who just so happened to pick up this book first–the first and only Narnia book I’ve ever read was Prince Caspian, the seoond in the series–without appearing to introduce them to the people who just finished reading about them in book one. GAH.

I do need to send out props to my tweeps. A good chunk of the action in the first half of Crusade is thanks to them as Patrick and the rest of Jack’s demon-hunters try out all the suggestions I got from Twitter about how to kill a nanite-infused demon. (very few of them turn out to work, because it still has to be a challenge to kill these bastards in book three)

So I might be able to crest a thousand before I head not home, but to the company xmas party. I’ve got a couple of iPhone apps that sync with Google Docs, so I might be able to squeeze in a few hundred words at the party if the stand up comics turn out to be, well, Yanni.

Categories: Journal Tags: ,

Day 38 progress report

Yesterday was actually fairly productive, and if it were not for my own hubris, I’d be pretty proud of myself. I got 2,075 words written, including a tense yet funny scene with Dante, my probably-needs-to-be-renamed hacker character, and a lab tech with a placeholder name of Sheldon Cooper trying not to get killed by demons. You guys will see the first draft for that posted on the 13th. I also got some final tweaks done to the Revelation outline and split the Crusade outline into three acts. I’ll have an article for JeffKirvin.net next Monday about the sacred and dreaded three act structure and why you really can’t get away from it, no matter avante garde you may think you are.

I didn’t get as much done yesterday as I wanted, though, because I still have some bad habits to break. Notably, Big Bang Theory and Castle. I didn’t even really have to watch Castle, because I knew it would be in my Hulu queue this morning. I rationalized it because not only is it an awesome show with one of my favorite actors, but it’s a show about a best selling novelist. As for Big Bang Theory, one of my minor characters in the chapter I was writing was loosely based on Sheldon, so I had to watch, right? For research. Yeah.

Oh, and I took up the hour after Castle watching the local news tell me how our sub-zero Fahrenheit weather can kill you in under an hour while I downloaded the unabridged audiobook of Stephen King’s Under the Dome to my netbook and synced to my iPhone. All 32 hours of it. Aw yeah. Hey, I sat through Atlas Shrugged unabridged, and this has got to be better.

Hubris. I agreed with Josh that I’d start writing Crusade this Thursday while he started the first book of Pantheons. So now I have a hard deadline for Revelation. I’ve got three chapters, about 10,000 words, left to write, and only today and tomorrow to do it. And my day job to deal with. And it’s my mom’s birthday tonight, so there will be cake over at my sister’s.

If I may quote Nicholas Cage from “The Rock”, “I love pressure…”

Categories: Journal Tags: , ,

Day 36 status

I got precious little actual writing done over the weekend, about 2 pages total, because of getting the new blog and wiki up and running. Revelation is sitting at 63,182 words, and I need to do 4k per day to finish it before Thursday. Yes, I know that’s only 75k. But I skipped a few scenes earlier in the book and have recently figured out I do need to find a place to put Jeff Frankel’s tale of vengeance from the original novella back into this version, so the first draft should round out almost exactly 80k.

I need to be done by Thursday because that’s when I start a WORD WAR with Josh Curry, my podcaster in arms from Maximum Geek. I’ll be writing Crusade and he’ll be writing the first book in his Pantheons series. First to 80k wins!

So yeah, the next three days will be head down, writewritewritewrite.

I’m going to be posting four chapters a day, on average about 10k words, here until I get y’all caught up to what I’m writing currently.

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