Comments for The Unification Chronicles

Comment on Change of plans by Chris S

Chris S — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 06:20:30 +0000

Hi Jeff, just wanted to drop you a line to say thanks for the Unification Chronicles… love them!

Comment on 110 Revelation chapter 10 first draft by Skorp

Skorp — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 11:41:54 +0000

Not being a subway rider, I don’t think I understood Susan’s logic on their escape from the subway (use of fare cards, etc).
Daniel is starting to come across a bit like a superhero to me, in that he acts like he has a lot of experience in street fights (as opposed to training/sparring sessions). Whether that is good or bad may just be personal preference.
I’m also starting to wonder why he knows so much about electronic surveillance and how to avoid it. It doesn’t really seem to be suggested by his background. On the other hand it would seem to be right up Jeff’s alley. It would make sense to me if it was Jeff who showed Daniel and Susan how to get off the grid, but if you did that then you would have to find something to justify Daniel not getting caught in the days before he meets Jeff.
Speaking of Jeff, I was disappointed to see that he showed up at the motel purely by coincidence. I expected his network would be able to track Daniel & Susan somehow (or maybe Batarel instead), since he came to DC specifically to follow up on Susan’s article.
The details of Daniel getting beat up–especially getting his arm broken–are good, establishing that the demons are dangerous & humans can’t fight them without consequences.

Comment on 109 Revelation chapter 9 first draft by Skorp

Skorp — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 10:49:08 +0000

I didn’t really buy Susan’s motivation here. I think her default assumption would be that the FBI is chasing a real terrorist (and she has no confirmation that Daniel is the right guy until the FBI moves in on them). Also, the only way she could sell an article to her target audience would be to talk tough, so that’s how I think she would start the interview.
If Daniel convinces Susan that he’s innocent, she would still be looking for details about a terror plot. She can still sell a story about FBI incompetence but it’s much juicier if there’s a terrorist attack imminent (i.e. FBI is aware of an attack but they targeted the wrong suspect). But if he can’t give her any details along those lines then his story is much less valuable to her.
While Susan may be aware of how profiling works, I don’t think Daniel’s background would be the kind of thing she would write about. I think that conversation would work better a little later. I think this conversation should be more focused on Daniel trying to convince her of what he saw. Susan’s “I’m in,” seemed very abrupt to me.
On the other hand, no matter what Susan thinks of Daniel, it’s easy to believe the FBI would see her as a conspirator. So the escape scene works, and the final result of Daniel & Susan on the run is good.

Comment on Change of plans by Donald Stidwell

Donald Stidwell — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 23:22:01 +0000

Disappointed that more people aren’t reading what you’re posting and writing – but look at the bright side: It’s more people than are reading anything I’m posting and writing!

Seriously, real life has a way of messing up the best made and well-intentioned plans. Things happen and better to deal with them when they come up and make revisions as necessary.

Stay with it and keep plugging. I do miss the daily chapters that you did during NANOWRIMO – that was fun (from a reader’s perspective) and as you yourself have recognised, a major accomplishment – you DID write an entire novel in a month. Don’t think there’re too many folks that can claim that as an accomplishment, so be proud and happy with that rather significant feat.

Comment on Call for feedback by Alan

Alan — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 06:26:43 +0000

Based on his comment here, and one other I read, I'd say Josh is your wise adviser and you should listen to him. For what it's worth, I think you're doing something important here, the value of which is not ultimately going to be determined by the number of people that read each post as it's put up. Imagine if Rowling had done something like this with Harry Potter, but abandoned it after the initial draft of the first book because she wasn't getting enough feedback. Of course she wasn't. Who knew about Harry Potter when the first book was in its first draft?

I don't think you need to be writing Harry Potter for this analogy to work. I really think what you're doing is unique and important

Comment on Call for feedback by Josh

Josh — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 22:18:17 +0000

Well I tend to see most of this stuff anyway, but I think you're doing something interesting here and you need to not worry about who's seeing it and just worry about doing it. Much like I think you need to stop worrying about all the details and just write the story. No more second guessing, sit down and write.

Comment on Call for feedback by Donald Stidwell

Donald Stidwell — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 18:27:11 +0000

Well, I read everything you post and find it informative and interesting. The few comments I have I’ve usually made on Twitter to you directly. Of course, I’m just one person and it may not be worth the effort to YOU if you don’t get more feedback. But for my part, I’d like to see you continue.

Comment on Second guessing by Josh

Josh — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 19:24:43 +0000

I told you this a week ago, there are no easy answers, the only real answer is just sucking it up. It's a huge risk posting everything like this, opening up your process and the worst parts of your writing. Let's face it, some parts of anyone's first draft are really really bad. I think that's the point of this behind the scenes glimpse though, showing people how a first draft should look. So suck it up and do what you set out to do, show us the process.

Also whatever that word count widget thingy in the post is, it seems way outta place. Makes it weird to read. Just my 2 cents. It'd work better in the widget bar.

Comment on From Word to Google Docs by Steve Griffin

Steve Griffin — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 01:55:29 +0000

Hi Jeff –

I've thought about using Google Docs, but the major hurdle I seem to have is the constant fear that I'll want to write and not have access to an internet connection.

I actually use OpenOffice instead of Microsoft Word and the text editor has a Navigator function (same as the Document Map function in Word) that allows me to mark points in a document and jump around the doc based on the tags. This type of functionality hasn't been replicated in Google Docs (yet) and is probably going to keep me using OpenOffice for a while. Thanks for the insights, love the blog. Cheers.

Comment on From Word to Google Docs by jeffkirvin

jeffkirvin — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 19:06:19 +0000

I used the Document Map extensively in Word for Revelation, but keeping each chapter in a separate Google Doc is effectively the same for me. As for having a constant internet connection, I do. I have a tethering app on my iPhone so if I wind up wanting to write somewhere that doesn't have wifi, I can just plug my phone into my netbook. An extra redundancy is enabling Google Gears so you can work offline if you have to.