http://www.jeffkirvin.net/unificationchronicles/2009/12/09/110-revelation-chapter-10-first-draft/ An all access, behind the scenes look at the science fiction saga by Jeff Kirvin Wed, 16 Feb 2011 03:48:56 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 http://www.jeffkirvin.net/unificationchronicles/2009/12/09/110-revelation-chapter-10-first-draft/comment-page-1/#comment-42 Skorp Thu, 07 Jan 2010 11:41:54 +0000 http://www.jeffkirvin.net/unificationchronicles/2009/12/09/110-revelation-chapter-10-first-draft/#comment-42 <p>Not being a subway rider, I don't think I understood Susan's logic on their escape from the subway (use of fare cards, etc). Daniel is starting to come across a bit like a superhero to me, in that he acts like he has a lot of experience in street fights (as opposed to training/sparring sessions). Whether that is good or bad may just be personal preference. I'm also starting to wonder why he knows so much about electronic surveillance and how to avoid it. It doesn't really seem to be suggested by his background. On the other hand it would seem to be right up Jeff's alley. It would make sense to me if it was Jeff who showed Daniel and Susan how to get off the grid, but if you did that then you would have to find something to justify Daniel not getting caught in the days before he meets Jeff. Speaking of Jeff, I was disappointed to see that he showed up at the motel purely by coincidence. I expected his network would be able to track Daniel & Susan somehow (or maybe Batarel instead), since he came to DC specifically to follow up on Susan's article. The details of Daniel getting beat up--especially getting his arm broken--are good, establishing that the demons are dangerous & humans can't fight them without consequences.</p> Not being a subway rider, I don’t think I understood Susan’s logic on their escape from the subway (use of fare cards, etc). Daniel is starting to come across a bit like a superhero to me, in that he acts like he has a lot of experience in street fights (as opposed to training/sparring sessions). Whether that is good or bad may just be personal preference. I’m also starting to wonder why he knows so much about electronic surveillance and how to avoid it. It doesn’t really seem to be suggested by his background. On the other hand it would seem to be right up Jeff’s alley. It would make sense to me if it was Jeff who showed Daniel and Susan how to get off the grid, but if you did that then you would have to find something to justify Daniel not getting caught in the days before he meets Jeff. Speaking of Jeff, I was disappointed to see that he showed up at the motel purely by coincidence. I expected his network would be able to track Daniel & Susan somehow (or maybe Batarel instead), since he came to DC specifically to follow up on Susan’s article. The details of Daniel getting beat up–especially getting his arm broken–are good, establishing that the demons are dangerous & humans can’t fight them without consequences.

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