Okay, let’s try this again. I finally feel like writing again, so let’s see if it sticks.
For those of you that may be wondering, several factors contributed to my dropping off the grid for a couple months.
The first was a horrible case of NaNoWriMo hangover. After writing 50,000 words in a month and blogging about it, I was highly antagonistic towards my keyboard. I just wanted to sleep.
Which, as it turns out, was the key to my second problem. I have a sleep disorder called Sleep Apnea where part or all of my airway closes up while I sleep and I stop breathing. The body reflexively wakes up when that happens, and I’m usually not even aware of it. The problem is that according to a recent sleep study I had done, I wake up about 76 times an hour. In short, I haven’t had a restful night’s sleep in months, maybe years.
Sleep deprivation can kill you. In my case, not only was I tired all the time (if the first thought that runs through your head every single morning is “my god, I’m tired” you might have sleep apnea), but my weight went up (further closing off my airway) and my moods went completely out of control.
Long time readers of mine know that I have bipolar disorder, caused by an imbalance of the neurotransmitter serotonin in my brain. Prolonged sleep deprivation further depletes serotonin, plunging me into a series of deep, crippling depressions. Even when I was together enough to go online, I was dark, ascerbic and as one reader put it, “just plain mean.”
I think I’m on the mend now. I have a device called a CPAP (Constant Positive Air Pressure) which is essentially a small air compressor attached to a hose that blows enough air up my nose while I sleep to keep my airway open just by air pressure. I’m still getting used to the mask that holds the tube to my nose, but even the three hours a night I can tolerate now has made me more alert, more positive and generally more like my old “happy-go-lucky” self.
And I finally have enough energy to write again. Meaning not only am I starting to blog again, but I’ll be starting to work on a new fiction project that I’ll discuss here in the coming days.
So here’s to getting back on the horse!